Linky's Fics

One Name, The Other Taken Away

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A young Shiori looked up to Nishiwaki as he passed her the ball. He was someone who was deeply close with both her parents, rarely never by their sides these days. Something had occurred to her during one of the many days they’d play in the Rose Manor Garden:

“Hey Nishiwaki-san, why do you only have one name?” She looked at him innocently. “Is it a first or last name?”

Completely unaware of the truth, why things were the way that they had been for decades.

Nishiwaki froze in his tracks. Countless flashbacks played vivid memories before his very eyes. Of death, of blood, of loss. Of a life that was taken away from him without a second thought by the adults who shouldn’t have failed him.

There was no way she could know. That she should ever know. What he had to carry across his shoulders was for him to bare and him alone. Not a young child who deserved a good youth.

Shiori deserved better than what he had to endure.

Kids were smart and perceptive, she was no exception. So the mask to hide his past had to be flawless and stronger than the toughest iron.

“Don’t worry about it, Shiori-san.” He smiled, trying so hard to mask the pain within his soul.

Thankfully she didn’t seem to notice the shadow that loomed behind him.

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The question struck him like a bullet to the chest.

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know. He had desperately worked to hide this aspect of himself from Shiori. This just meant the masking worked, perhaps a little too well.

Yes, it was strange he only had one name. That he would never deny.

A new name given to him by his old superiors who had long since left this world decades ago. Discarding his original one given to his parents. A symbol of going down another path that was picked for him by a secret organization.

By this point it had become something he’d accepted about himself. The trauma he had made him forget his birth name. He was no longer the person he was originally born as, hadn’t been for a long time.

Not that his original self would even want the hidden years of bloodshed associated with “Nishiwaki” to begin with.

Old memories continued to flash back to him as he sat in his room. Moments of carnage, espionage, and death.

So much death.

Moments when he had to kill in cold blood. For the sake of his mission. Or to ensure his own life, so he could continue to carry out his missions. Everything had been for the greater cause that he was selected for.

Today he was able to live as normal as a life as a former child solider could. There would still be scars that were etched into his skin. As well as his mind, his memories. Always lingering right behind him despite his current life of normalcy.

A truly “normal” life was impossible. This too was a fact he accepted and made peace with. One cannot change the past after all. What was done is done.

As long as things continued how they did at the Rose Manor, he’d be more than happy.

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There were two others who knew of the blood on his hands. The pains that he carried and the scars that ran deep. Carving their way across his skin, and making their way into his soul.

Michiko and Shichiro wrapped their arms around Nishiwaki. Stroking his head and cheeks respectively.

“She didn’t mean any harm.” Michiko whispered. Continuing to stroke, fingers gently making their way across his hair. A soothing feeling that helped ground Nishiwaki back to earth. Making the flashbacks slowly fade away.

Shichiro’s touch soothed him as well. His hands still soft despite all of the work his occupation entailed. Possessing a warmth that further made Nishiwaki feel at home.

He kissed both of his partner’s cheeks. A way give them a bit of comfort as well. He felt a tinge of guilt over these two seeing his trauma catch back up to him. They should live their lives raising Shiori together, not to worry about the sorrows of anyone’s past.

“I know.” He nodded.

That was what made it all the more painful.

Such a pain he experienced today only the innocence of a child could inflict. An innocence that Nishiwaki had been robbed of, as well as even more of his youth.

But he loved Shiori just as much as her blood family did, and wouldn’t ever hold it against her. More than anything he wanted her to live the life that he never got to have. Experience youth to the fullest, to be a normal girl.

He would do whatever it took to ensure this.

To have been a child solider was something that would follow you for life. It never leaves you, always lurking in the darkest corners of one’s mind. Flashbacks striking without remorse, in ways out of your control.

Made to fight corruption in the shadows of Japan. Sent by the adults who should have guided him across his childhood into a more normal life. One where he got to play with his peers, find love, and experience the joys and sights of his birthplace.

Instead they made him battle those who took the youth of others away, in exchange for his own.

At least in the end—he did find love, despite it all.

“We will always be here for you.” Shichiro began. “You’ll always have a place with us, this I swear.” He took Nishiwaki’s hand into his and held it tightly.

Michiko did the same. Looking at him with eyes overflowing with love. It was one of the most beautiful qualities about her. This was that same sense of love that made Nishiwaki and Shichiro fall for her in the first place.

Nishiwaki held back tears, not ones from sadness. Ones from the overwhelming joy his partners made him feel.

“Thank you both.”

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